A recent social media post depicting Donald J. Trump in a casual setting invited comments on the candid picture of the U.S. president, specifically his appearance.

Predictably and perhaps appropriately, many of the comments were nasty. Some viewers noted that the president appears to have aged dramatically. Other sharp-eyed commenters marvelled at how well Trump’s right ear appears to have healed. It’s almost as if a bullet never grazed his lobe. Hmm.

Meanwhile, one person suggested “a gentleman never wears a hat indoors.” Trump, of course, was wearing one of his infamous Make American Great Again caps.

Putting politics, scandals and tariffs aside for a moment, was the latter remark a fair comment? Is that rule still valid?

As a proud member of the grumpy ole man club, I recall vividly how youngsters were once scolded for not removing headwear at the dinner table or in other indoor social settings. Men did not wear hats in church, court, or in a restaurant.

It was one of those social norms that was strictly enforced, often by members of what is now referred to as The Greatest Generation. Our grandparents had experienced wars and the Great Depression. They had standards that covered things like language, manners and, yup, headwear.

Baby boomers grew up learning the rules of life in a civilized society. Men walked on the traffic side of the sidewalk, women on the inside. Moms wore hats to church. Gentlemen opened doors for ladies, a custom that largely disappeared when some women found that insulting.

We were told that saying “you’re welcome” followed thank you. (Now, too many people simply say, “thank you” in response to a thank you. When, and why, did that change?)

Determining what is acceptable and is unacceptable is challenging. It’s a moving target, it moves slowly but relentlessly. What was once considered uncouth may now be the norm.

We now tolerate vulgarity on the nightly news. Social media is a free-for-all with no rules for manners or appropriate language.

It was tough being a teenager, learning the rules of life. Adulthood brought new rules and expectations.

Should we be surprised that the senior years pose even more trials?

Warren Goulding is a journalist and author living in Chemainus. He can be reached at publisher@askewcreek.com
https://askewcreek.com/

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