I thought my first Island Woman post would provide a good opportunity to share a  quick cheat sheet on dining tips.

First of all, when you are invited, RSVP as soon as possible. Find out what the dress code is and never try to out dress the hostess. Be punctual. Do not bring along an uninvited partner to a dinner party. The hostess does not need a surprise. The only polite surprise you can offer is a small gift of flowers, wine or chocolates.

Top 10 Dining Etiquette Tips

1. Napkin
Unfold your napkin and place it across your lap. When necessary, dab your mouth and fingertips using the inside part of the folded napkin. When excused (after you have asked your hostess to be excused) from the table, place your napkin on your chair. At the end of the meal place it neatly on the left side of your place setting, never in your dish.

2. Bread
Take a piece of bread and place it on your bread dish that is on your left side (above your forks). Transfer sufficient butter to your plate with the butter knife. You never cut bread. You tear off a bite size piece and butter it as you eat it.

3. Soup
To eat your soup, place your spoon in the centre of the bowl and push it away from you. Bring the spoon to your mouth and drink the soup from the edge. Never slurp or drink from the bowl.

4. Knives, Forks & Spoons
Always work your cutlery from the outside in for each course. Hold them with the handles in the palm of your hands, forefingers on top, and thumbs underneath. When taking a break, rest them in an upside-down ‘V’ with the handles on your dish. This tells the server that you are still eating. When you are finished eating, place your fork and knife in a parallel position at 4 o’clock. Forks and spoons are acceptable for desserts, as knives have retired for the balance of the meal.

5. Foods
Cut a bite at a time. Never cut up your whole meal.  This is not the time to experiment in case you don’t like your choice. Stay away from challenging foods such as escargots, artichokes and pasta unless you are comfortable eating them. Do not salt your food before tasting, as it would be considered an insult to either the chef or your hostess. If your hostess serves you something not to your liking, attempt to eat a bit of it and move it around your dish a bit. Never complain.

6. Drinking
Sip quietly and occasionally. Drinks are to compliment a meal not to be guzzled down. Definitely do not drink with the intent to get drunk. It is unpleasant for the other guests and does not reflect well on you. When you have had enough, there is no shame in saying so, especially if you are driving. Knowing when to say when is important.

7. Conversation
Amiable, flowing, and interesting topics are appropriate dinner conversation. The dinner table is not the debating circle; therefore stay away from those touchier subjects of politics, sex and religion, unless you know all of the guests intimately. If at a loss for conversation, ask your dining companions about themselves but avoid personal questions. Do not monopolize one person or the conversation.

8. Thank the Host & Hostess
Thank your host/ess for their hospitality before leaving.

9. Thank you note
Writing a thank you note shortly afterwards would be appropriate.

Emily Post once wrote: “All the rules of table manners are made to avoid ugliness. To let anyone see what you have in your mouth is repulsive; to make a noise is to suggest an animal; to make a mess is disgusting.”

10. General Don’ts

• Don’t drink a toast to yourself.
• Don’t tuck your napkin in your shirt.
• Don’t blow on hot food to cool it down. Wait for it to cool itself.
• Don’t move your plate after your meal has been served.
• Don’t treat the servers badly. It makes you look common.
• Don’t point with your cutlery.
• Don’t reach across the table.
• Don’t hold your fork while you drink your wine.
• Don’t pick your teeth.
• Don’t overstay your welcome

Bon appétit !

Elizabeth Bachman, a Victoria resident and native of Montreal, established her company, Pro-Etiquettetwo years ago to teach the ways of etiquette and civility in business, academic and social settings. Elizabeth has motivated and taught valuable business lessons within companies’ operations, sales departments and with managers and executive, always stressing the importance of respect and communication.  She believes in the importance of teaching children, tweens and teens along with young adults transitioning into university and then onwards to the business world.

For more information please visit Elizabeth’s website.

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