Now that was a dress code!
What to wear – check the sumptuary laws! A couple of definitions to start: SUMPTUOUS– costly, lavish SUMPTUARY – seeking to regulate extravagance on religious or moral (and, we might add, profitability and ‘class’) grounds It was a few paragraphs in Sally Armstrong’s book, “The Nine Lives of Charlotte Taylor” that got me curious about vanity or sumptuary laws. Said the 18th century colonial heroine while story-telling to her offspring, “Women were so painted and hidden behind all manner of costume for every occasion, Parliament (in England) finally passed a...
Read MoreSome Assembly Required
It’s long past all our bedtimes. We are prickled with sweat. My husband Ed is cussing. My son Jamie is about to drop. I’m aghast. Our long night has begun with a spirited “let’s get ‘er done”, but now this family project is in tatters. Sundvik doesn’t fit. Sundvik is a baby crib, from IKEA on the mainland, that will in due course be Cedar’s toddler bed. It glistens in solid beech, and matches the floor. After supper, Jamie and Ed manhandled the heavy slab up to the fourth floor condo, while I followed with the featherlight but unwieldy mattress carton. We need to put it up,...
Read MoreWhy Women Go in Pairs
We have just moved houses and whilst unpacking I found this article that a dear friend sent me in 2004. I laughed just as much reading it this time as I did the first time. I remember as a child so vividly the lecture given to me by my mother about using public toilets, and it is still seared in my brain to this day. I am sure many others will identify with this story. Enjoy … “My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl she’d bring me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she’d carefully lay strips of toilet...
Read MoreMy Mom and Michael J Fox
I was surprised years ago by Michael J. Fox’s skill as a writer. I read ‘Lucky Man’ when it first came out in 2002 and wondered if the creative piece that informs his acting also contributes to his engaging writing. What was most notable, however, was his outlook: this was a grateful man. Years after his initial diagnosis of Parkinson’s, he is still feeling fortunate. Upon hearing that there might be what the media is calling an ‘optimism gene’ (based on research by psychologist and neuroscientist Elaine Fox [no relation to Michael]. See article in Maclean’s, August 7,...
Read MorePlaying Through
Involvement in sports, both as an athlete and as a coach, has taught me many life lessons. In my younger days as a basketball player, the game continued even when I made a mistake! If I wanted to stay in the game, I had to learn to refocus on the game, not to dwell on or even react to the mistake. This “playing through” my mistake kept me “IN” the game. It was after the game had been played that I took responsibility for the mistake, often replaying the highlight reel to learn where I went wrong, with the intention of not making the same mistake in the next...
Read MoreSunset Beach
Hey, it’s Sarah and Sean and we’re so excited to be part of the Island Woman team! We love Vancouver Island and all this beautiful area has to offer. As young professionals, we’re really excited to bring you a youthful take on Island living. Among the most magical things about summer on Vancouver Island are the breathtaking sunsets. The other week we were lucky enough to be near Neck Point Park in Nanaimo when we saw the sun setting in the rearview mirror. The colors kept growing more intense and we just knew we had to catch a front row seat at the famous Sunset Beach. You can find...
Read MoreOver a pot of tea … flying solo
The cell phone jangled. It was Deirdre, my daughter in law. “Well?”, I breathlessly answered, “how did it go?”. “We’re home!”, she chortled. “Easy peasy!”. She had met the biggest challenge of her motherhood so far, other than her labour of course, and travelled solo beyond Victoria’s city limits with Cedar, my grandson. Her mission? To visit her family in Chilliwack. Hers was a simple excursion really, a morning ferry from Victoria to Tsawwassen and some hours tootling along the Trans Canada through the Fraser Valley. But I had imagined every dreadful possibility. In my...
Read MoreDo or Dye?
So, this is going to sound completely vain, and not the usual food related topic, but please bear with me. I have been wavering back and forth for months now on a probably silly decision. Do I dye my hair or embrace the grey? Here are my pro and con arguments for this debate. Dying my hair: I work in service-related industries. Unfortunately, appearance is important. When I am doing my day job of cleaning houses, I need to have a neat and pleasant appearance so clients will trust that I will take equal care of their homes. When I am selling at Farmers Markets, my appearance also inspires...
Read MoreA Woman Should Have …
Today I found an email that was sent to me by my dear friend Kate Switniki in 2007. At that time it was alleged to been written by the amazing Maya Angelou, but on her web site she disclaims that. It was written by Pamela Redman Satran. This poem is timeless and I was in the process of emailing it to my granddaughter when I felt I should share it with all Island women. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE… enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to… something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see...
Read MoreOver a pot of tea …
So what is grandmother Love, anyway? I’ve left the part of my life journey called “the world I know” and am fumbling to find the trail head of a new path through a brand new territory, called Ama-land. Ama. That’s my grandmother name. I spent a long time dreaming it up, and part of the challenge was overcoming identity-shift aversion. I made sure my label came from me rather than anyone else’s imposition. I looked for meaning but also wanted a mellow sounding word. I insisted on something unique. Ama works. I notice that people don’t look at me weirdly when they call me that,...
Read MoreCanadian babies in cardboard boxes?
With many health care systems and the services they are intended to provide, there is often a huge disconnect between the original concept and the service provided. It seems so often that the programs are designed around the process rather than the service that is provided. The result often leaves health care providers and families confused and the service a shadow of what is needed. I recently read the following article in the Globe and Mail regarding a program of pre-natal care in Finland. It is so simple and practical. We need programs like this in Canada. June 5, 2013 Why Canadian...
Read MoreAnney’s Closet
Anney’s Closet was conceived through the ingenuity of Soroptimist International, Victoria West Shore (SIVW), a group of women of all ages who bring with them a wealth of experience and interests. They believe in, and contribute to, the wonderful potential in women and girls in our community and around the world. SIVW identified an opportunity to help girls in the Greater Victoria area who are aging out of the foster care system. For these teenagers, who are often alone in the world, a donation of household items can make a huge improvement in their quality of life, boost their...
Read MoreOver a pot of tea …
Pope Francis, the Duchess of Cambridge, and Ama. What’s in a name? One day, a man called Jorge wins an election and his life changes. One day, Catherine Middleton says “I do” and nothing is ever the same for her. And one day my son says, “He’s arrived” and my world is immediately different. What do Francis, Kate, and I have in common? Beyond the fact that our states have shifted, we accepted new names when that happened. I’ve been thinking. “Is it common for mothers who become grandmothers to agonize over their new identity?” My mother never revealed if she actually liked to...
Read More… musings from Ms. Butterfly
A few years ago, as my eldest granddaughter’s 16th birthday neared, I began reflecting upon what I remembered about turning sixteen. This musing took on a life of its own and morphed into a project of putting together a special binder which contained, among other things, wedding photos and a little history of both my grandparents and parents, our wedding photo and a photo collage of events special to my husband and myself. I also included a photo collage of adventures we had shared with our granddaughter, a few of my baby photos and a photo taken on my sixteenth birthday, as well as the...
Read MoreCredo of an Island Woman
For those of you who have read my article Coming Out About Cars, please join me in saying a sad goodbye to Betsy. In January, I was hit from behind and dear Betsy suffered mortal wounds. I got off with whiplash and trauma. I had SUCH writer’s block after the accident. Life got pretty bleak, and I got pretty down. The financial consequences were severe – being on straight commission and dealing with insurance, injury, lawyers and such sucked a lot of energy and was a financial punch in the gut. My husband was away overseas and I had to deal with all these things myself. There were...
Read MoreOver a pot of tea …
Last Saturday afternoon began in a ceremony to greet the Spring season. The setting was Charco del Ingenio, a protected area nestled just over the hill and out of sight of San Miguel. The Charco is a botanical garden, an archaeological site, and has even been named a peace zone by the Dalai Lama. Pre Columbian stone tools found in its caves attest to its antiquity, and hacienda ruins signal its past on New Spain trade routes. Now, it’s the perfect moody place for this ritual to honor Gaia. Though the music came from pow wow drums and ram horns, Tibetan singing bowls and rattles, the group...
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