The Eyes of Grace
Once in a while my daughter and I find ourselves standing in front of the bathroom mirror at the same time. She is 21; I am 53. She looks beautiful; I look older. When there is a different mother/daughter duo in front of the mirror, the reflections tell the same story, only I get to be the younger face. Objectively my mother looks more worn than I do; well-earned age spots and laugh lines. But I realized, as I observed my mother alone recently, eyeing herself without the consciousness of comparison, that the sense of age and agelessness cycles through the generations. Melissa...
Read More… musings from Ms. Butterfly
Some of you may have taken the opportunity to hear Dr Alan Wolfelt , a renowned and gifted grief counselor and director of the Centre for Loss and Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado brought in by Oceanside Hospice last September. Dr. Wolfelt speaks of grief as the internal response to loss and mourning the shared social response to loss as one journeys towards reconciling grief. As a woman who put an infant daughter up for adoption many years ago and has since re-united with her, I realized after attending Dr Wolfelt’s workshop...
Read MoreAbreast Of Life
“You take on rough waters with the challenge of winning Dragon Boat competitions – it is a brilliant metaphor for your own individual battles and for your many victories over this disease.” Thus did BC’s then Lieutenant-Governor, Her Honour Iona Campagnola, welcome nearly three hundred breast cancer survivors at Government House in 2006. The gala reception and dinner celebrated the tenth anniversary of Victoria’s survivor team, Island Breaststrokers. Our own Central Vancouver Island team of survivors, Abreast of Life was there to hear Her Honour continue, “This is the...
Read MoreIsland – Prairie Women
There has long been an interesting connection between the Prairies and the Island. I’m not exactly sure when it started but definitely the “Dirty Thirties” was the impetus for many people to leave the prairies and head West. The Great Depression was hard on the whole country, but particularly so on the prairies where agriculture was our mainstay. It devastated our ability to produce crops and, as a consequence, many people had little or no source of income. They were destitute and had no choice but to pick up stakes and leave. My grandmother and mother were two such pilgrims who, in the...
Read MoreOver a pot of tea …
There is lots to do in Mexico. My marital sabbatical from “what’s for dinner?” has been a rejuvenating experience. Though my husband and I get along pretty well after 37 years, this time apart has freshened me up inside. I’ve spent three months answering the selfish question, “what do I want?” Here’s a sample of some of the things I’ve wanted, and some experiences I have been enjoying in San Miguel de Allende. I wanted to explore new interests. Here, I’m overwhelmed with all the choices. Many tourists to Mexico stay in all-inclusive resorts, where the beach, buffet and...
Read MoreJoy in an Alien World
Fear and excitement battle it out in my stomach,as I arise early to the slow lightening of a day that would transform my world. Gazing out to sea above the crashing surf below, I wonder about the captivating creatures I hope to encounter today. At sunrise, we arrive at the marina in Kona to board our dive boat, where the captain and crew greet us warmly. We begin to prepare ourselves and our snorkle gear, for on this sparkling Hawaiian morning, we journey out to sea in search of wild Dolphins. Our Captain, China, and his crew express a deep reverence and respect for the Dolphin world and...
Read MoreCelebrating Women 2013
Every year in Campbell River, The Vancouver Island North Women’s Resource Centre hosts an inclusive art show that features art from both amateur and professional artists alike. The array of paintings that form the nucleus of the show is always a visual feast. For this year’s show, I have decided to showcase three completely different example of art about women, by women. The show will run until March 12th at the Tidemark Theatre Gallery at 1220 Shoppers’ Row, downtown Campbell River. The opening was held on Sunday, Feb 24th and it was complete with the Shimmy Sisters belly dancers,...
Read MoreA Cautionary Tale
It would not have occurred to me that the Canada Post change of address form signed by my 87 year old father was not enough: the clerk said they required his presence at the post office unless I had proof of power of attorney. I had just come from the hospital where my mother is recovering from a pelvic fracture. I got back in the car and picked up my dad from their seniors residence and drove for the second time that day to the Post Office. The new directive was that his birth certificate and his photo ID health card and his presence was still not enough: they would need a passport or a...
Read MoreSharing What We Know
Growing up, my mom kept a large vegetable garden, as did her mom. My paternal grandparents also kept a large garden along with cows, pigs and sheep. We had our own chickens for eggs and meat. My dad hunted wild game and fished for food. I both watched and helped with preserving fruit, vegetables and sauces, freezing corn and peas; watched my dad skin and butcher deer and moose, I helped my mom with wrapping cuts for freezing. We also had fresh (unpasteurized) milk from a neighbour’s milk cow. Although we had treats here and there, Mom was strict about what we did buy from stores: we...
Read MoreOver a pot of tea …
This part of Central Mexico is awash in flowers on this day. It’s Candelaria in San Miguel de Allende. February 2nd is a festival that both honors the part of the year that is ending and looks ahead to what is imminent. On the Island, we look to see if the marmot saw its shadow. We get ready for Seedy Saturdays. Here in San Miguel de Allende, this week is a festival that celebrates both the end of the Christmas season and the beginning of Spring. Seeds for the first crops are blessed with great reverence in the many beautiful Catholic churches. So is the annual candle supply. Parades of...
Read MoreIslands in my Life
Island … “a land mass … surrounded by water … anything like an island in position or isolation”. Such is an official definition of the word; we all know that this is not the only kind of island. Islands have always figured largely in my own life as landforms; as personal islands surrounded by joy and satisfaction, by grief or loneliness, or as blessed islands in the midst of silence far from the madding crowd. I expect reading, and writing for Island Woman will bring more interest, exploration, and understanding to my current personal island. My first island figures in my...
Read MoreThe Things They Carried
Decades ago I bought Viet Nam war veteran Tim O’Brien’s book The Things They Carried because I was intrigued by the title. I was a teenager in the 70’s and had always been moved by what young soldiers had gone through. The title resonates with me now as I am a 52 year old psychologist with aging parents. Having done a workshop recently on the topic of family dynamics and caring for parents, and having an increasing number of clients who are struggling with this difficult mix of emotions and logistics, I am more keenly aware of how the issues which may emerge at these crossroads are...
Read MoreThe RV Lifestyle – Part 3
Have you ever wondered what it’s really like? After 35 years in the tourism industry and with a desire to complete my Master of Arts degree in Tourism Management, I chose to research and write an ethnographic graduate paper on the recreational vehicle (RV) lifestyle. In order to immerse myself in my topic, I became a fulltime RVer as I travelled North America for 14 months. This third and final installment of my research into this fascinating and trending tourism perspective explores feelings of camaraderie and closeness felt by participants of this way of life. Finding Community and...
Read MoreThe RV Lifestyle – Part 2
Long thought of as a ‘hippies’ style mode of travel, more people are joining in the ranks of the recreational vehicle (RV) nomadic lifestyle, a lifestyle replete with all or none of the luxuries from home, making this travel trend one you craft yourself. This lifestyle became my reality as I embarked upon living full-time in a motorhome, travelling North America while researching and writing for a Master of Arts degree, and the submission of an ethnographic graduate paper on this subject. The second installment in this three-part series explores the affordability aspect of this way of...
Read MoreThe RV Lifestyle
The RV lifestyle … have you ever wondered what it’s really like? I am a new resident to Vancouver Island, having moved here following a 14-month journey in my RV (recreational vehicle) motorhome, touring North America and during which I completed my Master of Arts degree in Tourism Management. My graduate paper was an ethnographic research project and included participants of fulltime RVing and those simply enjoying its vacation/travel aspect for extended periods of time. As I share with you these research observations, follow along with me in a 3-part series on the RV...
Read MoreSurvival Before “Discovery”
There were four crockery barrels on our back porch.I was four years old. We all had jobs. My job was to get things from the crocks. One held eggs preserved in water-glass; one was filled with oolichans (eels) in salt; one, my mother’s concoction of lye, oil and I don’t know what, which was the soap used for dishes, the floor, the laundry, the dog and our Saturday night baths in the tin wash tub; and one, goose grease, the salve of all bad things from cut fingers to leg-aches and whooping cough. When I see an episode of the TV show, “Survivor”, featuring people touching or tasting...
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