At first I hated it. I cannot tell a lie. The notion of reading about “a dependent” despised me. The term conjures up visions of this pathetic, clingy housewife of a service man who lives vicariously through her husband’s career, yet wears the rank as though she were the one serving in uniform.

I will admit, I came to this conclusion through my own personal bias toward service “dependents.” I too once served in uniform and could neither understand the attitude of some of my colleagues’ spouses nor care to venture into their shoes. I couldn’t fathom not being a careerist, earning my own living and making my own decisions. I was fearful of a world I could not see myself being a part of and I dreaded being in it. I watched my mother’s resentment toward service life, playing the part of the supportive wife. Subconsciously, I was building up defences over the years, only to have them challenged by a 286-page fictional novel.

“Dependent” to me is such an ugly term. When I took my retirement from the service, I became one of “them” and would joke about finally understanding what it means to be the D in the DF&E (Dependent, Furniture and Effects). “Nothing but an acronym now Sweetheart,” I mocked to my service husband when it was our turn to uproot and relocate, only this time I wasn’t in uniform and there wasn’t an exciting position waiting for me at the other end.

So needless to say, I approached the book with a bit of an attitude and mixed emotions.  As I began to read, my apprehension actually continued but for more acceptable and less superficial reasons.

Dependent: A Novel opens with a heart-wrenching, gut-turning, “oh-my-god-what-if-that-happens-to-me” tragedy that sucks you into the pages and doesn’t let you go. You want it to stop but know if you keep reading, you will find some relief from the uncomfortable feelings of sorrow toward the lead character Ellen Michaels. As I read on, I found myself slipping into her shoes and wondering how I would ever survive if the same situation occurred to me. Truthfully, it’s a place in our minds we never want to venture into, particularly when married to service members who accept the inherent risk associated with their chosen profession. Playing out ‘what if’ scenarios in one’s head can be a dark and miserable place to go. I promised my spouse I’d never do that. And yet Dependent was only egging it on. Had I the choice, I would put down the book right then and there. But I had an obligation to finish the book. If I was to represent Brenda Corey Dunne effectively on her Canadian Book Launch and Book Tour, I needed to know my subject material intimately.

And so the more I read, the more I found myself caught up in this tangled life of a service spouse. More interesting however was the journey her novel took me on. I opened my eyes to the realities facing many service families I’d never had the courage to empathize with … events I’d witnessed happen to friends and comrades as a result of fatalities in the line of duty. The loss of a loved one and the unraveling of a life that was once so caught up in the deceased spouse’s career is unbearable to face, even as the helpless bystander.

Although fictionalized in the novel, Brenda’s account of the tragedies is very much real. Brenda is no stranger to military life, having once served in the Canadian Forces and now married to a senior air force officer about to take command of one of Canada’s most active Search and Rescue bases here on Vancouver Island. She brings an astute yet compassionate approach to the subject and allows her readers to see that there can be hope amidst all the despair as portrayed in her lead character.

As with everything I read, I’m often more fascinated with the artist’s inspiration that brings about their creation than I am the final result. I wanted to know more about Brenda than I did about Ellen. Refreshingly, Brenda affirmed all that I too experienced as a once-career-woman-bread-winner-turned-mom. Could it be that I was not alone in my personal bias, and that my fears are not only completely rational, but are felt by other women in similar circumstances? Well, I’ll be darned.

As Brenda explains, Ellen and the life surrounding her is a reflection of her own fears and takes on the persona of many friends she encountered over the span of 10 postings in three different countries. Ellen’s experiences are a compilation of events Brenda had seen throughout that time frame, fortunately not all at once nor with one single individual.

As Brenda describes those who shaped her lead character, “Military spouses are often hours away from any family support so they develop a tough outer skin, but they’re still sensitive inside. That was the character I was striving for.”

Dependent not only takes the reader on a journey but also did so for Brenda. It was an eight-year journey that began when Brenda found herself at home, often alone with three children, while her practice as a physiotherapist lapsed. She gave up a career and the benefits it afforded to support her service husband and raise a family. Ellen started off as a fictional version of herself. In her writings, she found herself asking whether she would be able to support her kids should she be struck with the same fate as Ellen. In the time it took Brenda to complete her novel, she faced those fears head on, which compelled her to write her national board exams and return back to the workforce as a physiotherapist and, in doing so, rediscover her own independence.

In essence, that is the journey Brenda hopes her audience will encounter. For readers of a non-military background, Brenda’s intent is to give a little glimpse of life behind the uniform – even fictionally – and into the life of a military family with all its changes, upheavals and challenges.

And for those with a military connection, she hopes her readers will appreciate the value in maintaining one’s independence and sense of self rather than being caught up in a world belonging to the spouse. “It’s not wrong to want to keep a bit of yourself while supporting your spouse in his or her career. It’s not easy to do. But it’s very, very important.”

Dependent: A Novel is published by Jolly Fish Press and is now on sale through Amazon, Goodreads and Chapters and soon on shelves in bookstores throughout Vancouver Island. Brenda officially launches her book Saturday, 2 August at Chapters in Victoria.

Mary Lee
MGG Communications & Consulting Inc.
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Mary Lee is a retired senior Canadian Forces Officer with more than 20 years military experience and 15 years in the field of Communications and Public Relations. Mary holds a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business and Commerce from the Royal Military College of Canada, Kingston, ON (Class ’91) and received her Public Affairs and Communications qualification from the Defence Information School at Fort George G. Meade, Maryland, USA.

A former Air Traffic Control officer, Mary moved into Public Affairs in 1998 and worked in all three services of the CF. During her time in uniform, Mary served abroad in the Arabian Gulf and at various locations throughout Europe. Upon retirement in 2007, Mary worked in the public sector as a communications specialist for the Air Force. In 2009, Mary started her own PR company, MGG Communications and Consulting Inc.

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