“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” – Marie Shear, 1986

The year turned with anticipation, followed shortly by the passing of a friend. Admittedly I didn’t know her that well, but Jackie did.

In fact, Jackie had to run out after the Board interviewed her so she wouldn’t leave too quickly, being absolutely the best person for the job. The Board of the newly formed Haven Society for the protection of abused and battered women, back in the early 1980s, was about to hire its first staffers, and Sharon Hirt would be a mainstay, a force to be reckoned with for years to come.

The City of Nanaimo had offered a house that was to be torn down, and the Society gladly accepted, dirt floor and all. In fact, the basement became the place where the donated clothing and home needs for new starts were laid out for whoever needed them. Meagre pickings at times, but so very important to the women who had escaped their husbands with only the clothes on their backs.

Many a cold and dreary night, mostly in the dead of night around 3 or 4 am, I remember the phone ringing, and Jackie getting hurriedly dressed and into the car. I would hope, every single time, that she remembered the baseball bat in the back seat, just in case. For Jackie wasn’t one to ignore a cry for help. Nor were the others of Haven when the word came. There was a woman in need, one who finally couldn’t put up with being beaten and bruised; her life threatened, her children terrified by a man who felt he had the right to smash and strike out at ‘his’ wife and family whenever he was drunk or despairing his lot in life. Time to go.

Those were the days when women were blamed for being beaten – what had they done to deserve their black eye, cuts and bruises? Why hadn’t they just shut up and not said anything when their children were being yelled at or hit for something they hadn’t done? Just who did women think they were anyway? Equal, not likely. Having rights … not in my lifetime.

Being a good wife meant finding excuses for that split lip or broken tooth … and a lot of women admitted to being clumsy back then, somehow falling down the stairs and bashing their heads against a post, or two. High-collared blouses and lots of makeup, and changing the subject when questions came too near the truth. The victims of abuse simply held on, and hoped for a normal life.

This while society looked the other way. Wars, empires and economic turmoil needed attending to, and men would be the bread winners and lords of their homes. Let the women take care of themselves.

So it was when Sharon was hired, and what she and other Haven House staff and Board members faced long into the dark nights.

Reasoning with a bully or a drunk was not the answer. Getting battered and abused women and their children out of a violent and sometimes deadly situation was. A safe house, where no one could find you, a haven to heal and have a little time to think about life … that was the first step to recovery, to getting some little control of life. And that was what the Haven Society was all about.

The rosy image of family life was fine and all, but the women of Haven House weren’t about ignoring the realities and victims scattered around the promise of a bright and beautiful future.

Having considered the plight of so many women and their families who were living in fear and quiet desperation, hounded and beaten into silence, these women decided it was time that society no longer turned a blind eye. They took the issue to heart, put themselves on the front line, and formed a society that would address the problems, establishing a haven where women and their children could be safe and protected.

So Sharon, I’ve been remembering you and other brave women of Haven House this past month and more. Your sweet heart and fiery conviction made a difference. Your willingness to stand up to the bullies and batterers brought hope and new lives to many who were trapped and voiceless, unsure what to do or where to turn. Your spark ignited a flame and passion that exposed injustice and ignorance, and led to many long-overdue changes in society. Thank you. We’ll meet again.

Sharon Hirt passed away on January 10, 2015.

Laurie Gourlay and Jackie Moad
Laurie Gourlay and life-partner Jackie Moad have worked with environmental, social justice, women’s and community groups.

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