As my mother’s 93rd birthday approached, I was getting excited. I was flying across the country to spend her birthday with her. I had a two week visit planned and was thinking up fun things we could do together. It occurred to me to share my garden with her through videos. Mom loves the garden.
So, a couple of weeks before my departure, I did a walk around the property, as we had done so many times when she visited me several years ago. The professional’s reviews at page. Through my camera lens, I pointed out what was new, what had evolved since she had last seen it, and shared plans I was making to move, divide and change things up. “She’ll love this”, I remember thinking.
One week before my departure, I was doing my morning walk around, and even though I had planned to spend the day in other ways, I decided to tackle one of my overhaul projects. As I toiled in the dirt, hauled away the old and amended the soil, I was thinking about what she would have to say. Would this be a good place to transplant the roses that weren’t happy in the backyard? Should I move a peony here? What about hens and chicks around the lovely newly exposed rocks? Mom loves hens and chicks in borders.
After I finished for the day, I looked at my feet – BLACK. Just like mom’s were every summer day, from my earliest memory until the day she could no longer stay in her own home. I had to chuckle at how alike we are as I scrubbed away the dirt, then showered and changed. I had other things to do that day, but instead, I went back outside and meandered through the garden, deadheading flowers, thinking to myself how much my mom loves to do this very thing … puttering, in a very productive yet casual way, making the world more beautiful. She loves to do that, and so do I. It struck me again how much we are alike.
I took out my video camera and showed her what I had done, now asking her what she would do next. I could envision sitting with her in the nursing home, talking it all over … connecting in a special way and bringing some joy into her day. I was so excited about my upcoming trip – just eight days to go.
When I got into the house, I got the call. My mom had suddenly passed away. I was in shock. I shouldn’t have been … she was about to turn 93 after all. But she was supposed to wait for her birthday, until I could come and we could spend time together. I had been checking in on her health status all summer, just to be sure it was okay to wait. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.
After getting over my initial shock, I realized what had happened. We had spent Mom’s last day on earth together – in the garden – doing what we loved to do. She was THERE. We had been chatting away in my mind’s eye all day long. She must have known and she must have reached out to me. I can almost feel her arms around me and hear her saying “It’s okay, Maggie … I am done here. It’s time for you to take over the gardening for me. You can do it – I have taught you all I know.”
Yes, I can, Mom, and I will take over for you. And you will be with me every step of the way. Thank you for teaching me how to connect with Mother Earth and how to stay connected to your heart. Today I will transplant your roses so they will be in a happier place. I love you mom!
Peggy Grigor
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My dear friend Peggy. We are both so lucky to have spent that “last day” with our mothers. And now, even though they are physically gone, they are still with us everywhere in every way in every day in our hearts and the very fabric of our lives. Bless you my friend and thank you for this sharing. <3
Thank you, Daphne. Our bonds grow closer through the wonderful women we called ‘mom’.
What a perfect day to treasure in your heart. Thank you so much for sharing your love through your writing. You are a beautiful Lady.
Thank you, Maggie. I can’t wait to get back to the garden to meet mom again!
Maggie, the bond between you and Buddy had always run very deep and on many planes. It was so wonderful that on her last day in Earth she came to you and shared a day in your garden when you couldn’t go to her. She remains within you still in so many ways.
Love,
Brad
Thank you so much, Brad. I only hope I can live up to her legacy of love and acceptance of all those she embraced.
Love, love, LOVE, I miss my Mom so much…thank you for this.
Thank YOU Barb, for your comment. I really appreciate it.
My sweetheart and I read your blog post while having lunch just now. Both of us have lost our mothers and although mine passed more than 20 years ago, Paul’s was more recent at age 93 as well. We both had tears and some goosebumps. I still hear my Mom’s voice from time to time nudging me in the right direction no matter what activity.
Thank you for writing, Grace. I look forward to keeping my mother as close in my heart as you have. Your words have taught me that she is and always will remain close by.
What a beautiful piece Mom – glad you had the chance to say goodbye in the garden and at the writing table.
Thanks for passing on our family’s love of Mother Earth – from Nana to you, to me. I’ll be sure to pass it on to Cade and beyond.
Hugs!
Thank you sweetheart. I am proud of all of you and together we will teach your son the lessons Nana have left us.