Carlie Kilduff

Your Flashlight

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Carlie Kilduff is a writer, speaker, intuitive, visionary, spoken word artist, and teacher of self-love. Previously, she taught Physical Education and French in the Sooke School District. After becoming a mother of two wonderful sons, Carlie embarked on a journey of self discovery and healing, and decided to follow a calling towards her work of passion and purpose. Currently, Carlie offers sizzling and powerful spoken word poetry shows where she shares her messages of hope, love, joy, peace, self-worth, and healing. Her work is gaining momentum as many recognize the tremendous impact of the messages that flow through her.

Spring is with us and the days are brighter. This makes me think of a poem that I recently wrote called “Your Flashlight”.  I performed it at the Spiral Café in Victoria, and you can check it out on You Tube if you like.

I am thrilled to announce that I have been writing with Island Woman Magazine for nearly two years now. Whenever I meet a new audience, I begin in a safe and easygoing manner, and then I begin to unleash myself more and more.  It occurred to me, a few weeks ago, that I have yet to fully unleash, or even step it up a notch.  So, I will attempt to do this over my next few articles.  Stay tuned! 

The poems that come to me, or rather through me, tend to be powerful and when I perform them in my spoken word shows, the impact is profound. This overwhelms me sometimes and I have a large number of pieces that have scared me in the past with their desire to rock the ship or shake and quake.  I am building courage and finding it within me to dig deep and offer up my scarier offerings.  The great news is that people seem to love them, no matter what.  The more frightening for me, the more people seem to connect, as if I am speaking some kind of collective truths that need to be expressed.

One thing that I see as a very perceptive and sensitive being is the way that people shine. Shiny people really stand out in our world.  We have been taught to go, go, go, give, give, give, and do, do, do, but I have found that this can be a source of light draining.  We tend to be a people who take care of others much better than we take care of ourselves.  This makes sense from the ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’ approach that our culture has embraced over the years.  If we thought of ourselves as light sources though, aren’t we more effective with bright lights?  How do we keep our lights shining brightly if our main mission is to put others before ourselves?

I’m not suggesting that we become people who are self-absorbed and thoughtless of others. ‘Self-full’ is a great word to consider.  Could it be that by filling myself up, in whatever ways I like to and need to fill, I would be more available and effective as I engaged with others?  As I have practiced self-love and self-nurture, learning how to fill my own cup first (like they always say to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others on a plane) I have indeed found that the way I help and serve in the world is much more concentrated and powerful, all the while leaving me less drained and discouraged.  I don’t always get it right, I am a reluctant learner just like the rest of us humans!  Constant reminders for myself and my inner wayward child help me to return to a ‘self-full’ approach, sometimes on a daily basis. 

I have seen too many people drowning as they help others. I was once this way.  With huge hearts and good intentions, many go down when they forget to keep their own fire flaming.  Another way that we tend to drain our inner light is by focusing on the rescuing and fixing of others.  It is often much easier to operate this way and it can give us a sense of doing well in the world. 

My deepest question is, however, what is most helpful in a needy, troubled world? Is it best to battle with lights dimming or to thrive with bright lights?  Do we need more collective burden or less?  How can you work in your life, with your heart, to heal and cleanse your vessel so that you shine as brightly as possible?  Is there passion and flavor in your life?  Can people see a distinctive ‘you’ in the fire of your light?  How do you wish to contribute to our world?  These are juicy questions and I invite you to consider them!


Your Flashlight

How bright is your flashlight?
Does it illuminate the darkest night?
Allow sight to open stubborn gates?
Or is it that your flashlight hesitates?
Waits for others to fuel
From your own source
This will help you stay on course

Are you trying to spark other flashlights
While yours shines dim?
Have a look at the shape you’re in
Light yours first, from deep within

Are you swimmin’
Trying to save those a sinnin’?
Best return to rest before you begin
Healing, feeling, dealing with your own pile
Is worth the while
Light pours through bright smiles
Spanning miles more than lukewarm words and deeds

What grows more seeds?
Quantity or quality?
People drawn to the light they see
Better met with clarity

In a world wading in disparity
More than charity
We need luminosity
Vacation from hypocrisy
With hearts bleeding
We are needing
Warm, bright flashlights

‘Inreach’ before outreach
Each vessel cleaning
Makes purer light streaming
Teaming with others
Uplifting sisters and brothers

Instead of being right
Shine your flashlight
Rise up from the night
With your flashlight
Flight, height
And flashlights
In your flashlight!
No need for might
Flashlights are stronger, longer
You shine yours and I’ll shine mine
Divine flashlights
More will bite on flashlights
So, go on, hold tight
And make bright your flashlight


CCarlie Kilduff_resizedarlie Kilduff

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