Removing My Suit
Hello Island Women! I am excited to be sharing with you again. I truly love this exchange of heart and soul, and I hope you do too. When I ask my intuition what I should write about, a recent poem called “My Suit” comes to mind. I was with some friends not too long ago and we talked about how we tend to cover ourselves in layers of insulation, as protection from a world that can feel harsh and frightening. A man, who is the new partner of a friend of mine, looked at me with desperate eyes, and confessed that he was exhausted from wearing this “suit” and that he was no longer able to...
Read MoreToo Risk-Averse
The article below was in today’s Times Colonist and I thought it was not only a sensible article but also very timely. On Friday, all our schools will be closing for the summer and the children will be out for two months. Unfortunately, they may be out of school but a large percentage will not be outside or out playing as they did historically. They will be inside, in front of a computer, the TV or some other electronic occupier. This scenario is often brought about by “helicopter parents” who are over protective and over stressed. Unfortunately, this can have dire...
Read MoreThe Energy of “I Don’t Know”
Recently I have been in the energy of “I Don’t Know.” It’s a very interesting energy – at the same time scary and liberating. Not knowing has me feeling a bit like a boat without a rudder, as though I’m floating along without a firm plan. The good thing about being in the “energy of not knowing” is the ability to go with the flow. When there is no firm plan, I find it much easier to adjust to whatever comes my way, with no hooks into how something should be based on my own expectation of it. Many of the people who come to see me are in this energy; they don’t know...
Read MoreShame On You?
Growing up, I didn’t have much. My parents did the best they could, but I had second-hand clothing that never fit and was not in style. I wasn’t permitted to wear makeup or have my ears pierced as most girls did. Children and teenagers can be really mean – I was often made fun of and as a defense mechanism, I developed a keen sense of humour and often pointed the humour away from myself. Thankfully, it worked for me, but not everyone has coping mechanisms in place. Lately there seems to be a rampant use of shaming (sexual, pets, drought, wealth, poverty and affiliation). Why on earth is...
Read MoreCooperative Offers Hope
Just this past April, Aldea Maya fulfilled a long time dream to facilitate the formation of a Women’s Cooperative in Chuk Muk village in Guatemala. For many years we have wanted such an organization to exist, but the correct opportunity never presented itself. Why did we want/need a women’s cooperative? Chuk Muk is a huge village with no feeling of community. The inhabitants in the village have survived a 35 year civil war and a massive mudslide, after which they were transported up to 20 miles to a new village. The village is in survival mode. The women working together in the...
Read MoreWomen in Hats
Summer on Gabriola … I love the beaches especially. There must be a dozen or more beaches, and who knows how many beach access paths to lookout points, secret spots for lovers, and book writers. If you asked me which is my favourite, it would be Drumbeg Park at the south end of Gabriola as my numero uno in beaches. Second would be Gabriola Sands, or locally called Twin Beaches because the road access is through an isthmus with two beaches either side. Cool, eh? Then, if you asked my third and fourth choices, they would be Descanso Bay and Sandwell Beach, with a fifth of Joyce...
Read MoreThe Best Infection
Hello Island Woman! Here we meet again. As I ponder how I want to share with you this time, a few poems jump to my mind as if they are saying: “Pick me!” The one that speaks the loudest, recently written, is called “Infection” and so I allow it to come to the surface at this time. I will warn you that this might be one of the grossest poems I have written. As someone recovering from germophobia, I can understand that the words in this poem may make some itch and squirm a little. I urge you to hold your seat and stick with it. The message is powerful and well worth some...
Read MoreThe Power of the Invite
What an amazingly powerful feeling it is to be wanted, desired, cherished. When you invite someone into your life, or they invite you into theirs, a connection is created that didn’t exist before and an amazing energy begins to flow. Have you noticed this? The energy of the invite to be included in someone else’s energy, or that of a group, a family or a business, is really one of the fundamental forces that creates community – or destroys it. Many of my clients come to me with deep fears around the perceived judgements from other people in their lives. In some cases it is crippling....
Read MoreSexuality and Aging
I see so much in magazines and online about the linkages between aging and sexuality that I feel compelled to write about it. But it’s my first attempt, so forgive me if I’m not very good at it. Remember when sexuality was thought to become extinct as we age? Well, that’s done. The Baby Boomer generation is once again changing the face of aging through another sexual revolution. Check this out … a National Council on Aging survey reports that among people age 60 and over who have regular intercourse, 74 percent of the men and 70 percent of the women find their sex lives more...
Read MoreSafety In My Garden
I have to thank Peggy Grigor and her Island Woman piece of March 23rd, “Lessons in My Garden” for finally getting me busy on this article! Her thoughtful thoughts remind me of that line from the Prophet Muhammad: “If I had but two loaves of bread, I would sell one of them and buy hyacinths for my soul.” In the interests of keeping body and soul together, I want to offer some tips to help us enjoy not only the planting of those hyacinths (and peonies, and asters …) but their bloom to come. Gardening is fun, but it’s also work, and it can nag at us if we get behind in the caring for...
Read MoreMy Time Of Spring
Spring is with us and I am always uplifted when the flowers bloom, the birds sing, and the sweet air warms. It seems to bring a renewed joy to most people and as the days grow longer and brighter, smiles grow. As this spring takes wings, it comes to me that I am in my own life’s time of spring. I believe that our lives follow their own cycles and they aren’t necessarily related to the physical changing of seasons each year. More on a metaphoric level, we move through times of birth, death, release, growth and much more. I love the image of a tree, and our trees are looking lovely and...
Read MoreSpring Cleaning
I love this time of the year! Today is one of those amazing days here in Victoria when the sun is shining and there’s not a cloud in the sky. It is the sort of day that makes me want to throw open all the windows and doors and invite the clean, spring air into my home. In fact, it is the energy of a spring cleaning! There are two times each year when I highly recommend a full cleaning of your home: autumn and spring. There is something very empowering about taking charge of your home and giving it a full on polish and shine. And I don’t mean a light dusting either. I mean a...
Read More… Musings From Ms. Butterfly
That moment when I walked out of the hospital leaving my infant daughter to be placed for adoption was a moment ‘frozen in time’. Unacknowledged and unreconciled grief had wrapped itself around my heart. Several years would pass before this seemingly dormant grief would surface with depression-like symptoms. Healing began with sharing my story in a nurturing environment. Over time I reached out, offering healing workshops to other ‘first nurturing mothers’ who were experiencing similar grief. In writing this article, I am affirming that there is a healing power in telling our stories....
Read More‘Younger’ Is A State Of Mind
I came across a study recently that found a strong relationship between people’s self-perceived age and their cardiovascular health. This study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association – Internal Medicine in December 2014, basically says that older people who reported feeling younger had a far lower death rate than those who said they felt older. That’s very interesting! Simplifying this one more step – this study basically says that if you believe you are younger (than your age), then you will be! How did the researchers determine this? They started by...
Read MoreLessons In My Garden
We have been blessed with an unusually warm and sunny spring this year. Have you ever experienced such a wonderful February and March? (My apologies to those who don’t live on the West Coast – but I really can’t help bursting with the joy of it all!) Interesting facts about that at page. It’s been such a bonus to get into the garden and get a head start on all the spring cleanup. My weeding is well in hand, pruning in good order and transplanting finished for the most part. Now I am free to just be outside, enjoy the fruits of my labour and relax as I watch nature...
Read MoreYour Words
And so we meet again Island women. It is once again my pure delight to share with you. I want to offer another poem and this one came after a writing drought. I have been taking great strides in preparing to launch my own spoken word show called “Spoken Love with Carlie Kilduff” and I can assure you that, behind the scenes of any artist baring their soul, are some shaking knees and tender hearts. As I move forward, I constantly nurture the voice that tries to encourage me to keep going, rather the one that says I should just pack it in and keep my passion hidden. There is a part in all of...
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